Sniffing Markers
by BattKattColourBlak
Summary: A story about a girl who decided that sniffing her jumbo sharpy was a good idea...AND GETS TO MEET EDWARD ELRIC! DUNDUNDUUUUH.... Rated T for occasional swearing
1. Silly Speach

-One day, Mercedes Kidon got the brilliant idea in her head to sniff her giant sharpy, and breath in deeply. She did the sooo much that all of a sudden, her favourite character from Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, appeared right in front of her. She pointed at him. "Coooooool…." She said vaguely. "I looooooovs yous…." Then she fainted.

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All of a sudden, Mercedes Kidon wakes up in the middle of a somewhat empty alleyway. And there were voices…and a pair of creepily familiar eyes staring at her. She pointed at the head that held them. "Coooooool….pretty eyes boy…." The yellow eyes turned from her to a large suit of armor. "Al, who the hell is this?" "I dunno," came the reply. Mercedes Kidon struggled to stand. As soon as she was back on her shakey legs, she collapsed onto the smaller of the two figures-the one with the pretty eyes. She giggled. "You make a comfy pillow…"In a muffled voice, the pillow says: "Geft. Her. Hoff. Meef. Nowf." The armor plucked the strange girl off of the pillow, and says: "Brother, we should take her to a hospital; she looks pretty sick." Mercedes Kidon giggles. "Heehee, you're pretty cold, Mr. Armor Guy." Shorty gives her a weird look, as does 'Mr. Armor Guy'. Shorty sighed. "I guess we'll have too; we can't leave her in this state. But we'll have to make it quick or the Colonel's gonna talk my ear off again." Mercedes Kidon: "Heehee…Mustang…he has a funny name…Mr. Horsey…heeheeee…" Shorty glanced at her. "You know about him?" He asked slowly. "Yep! Yepyeppityyepyepyep!" "Do you know about us?" "Oh, yeppityyep! Mr. Armor Guy's got kitties in his belly, and yous gots the metal arm and leg and the pretty eyes and pretty hair oooooooh can I touch it?" Then she smiled at 'Mr. Armor Guy'. "Heehee... I like kitties..." Silence. 'Armor': "Uh...do you know our names?" Mercedes Kidon nodded vigorously. "Yep! You're Alphonse the armor boy, and _he's_ Mister Shorty Cutie Pie! I mean Edward!" "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T EVEN REACH A TREE BRANCH THAT'S A FOOT OFF THE GROUND?!!!!" Mercedes Kidon giggled. "Heehee, you're a-funny..." Edward calmed down a little. Ed: "So…apparently you know who we are…now who are you?" Mercedes Kidon pointed at herself with pride. "My name is Mercedes Kidon! Heehee…call me 'Cedes! I'm 13 years old and 5'3"! Heeheehee…"

Ed looked upset. "Damn…" He muttered. Mercedes Kidon was slipping from her perch on Al's back. Al: "Brother, I really think we should take her to a hospital." Mercedes Kidon giggled. "Heehee… you're shiney…I like the shinies…" She laughed again. Ed: "Where's your home?" Mercedes Kidon giggled. Then her face took on the appearance of serious thought…soon enough, though, the look was replaced with a goofy grin. "Hee…If you look into my head right now, you'll see a little yogurt cup singing 'laalalaalalaaaa.'" Then she grew quiet. Al: "Uh…are you okay?" No answer. "BROTHER! WE NEED TO HURRY! SHE MIGHT'VE HIT HER HEAD OR SOMETHING!" Then Mercedes Kidon popped her head up. "I liiiiike the shiiiney…." Then it got quiet again. Ed: "…Ye-ah…let's go…"

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So, what d'ya think? This was some random idea me and a friend came up with…please read and review…I think there will be at least five more chapters…

Ciao!

~BattyKatt


	2. Excitement

**Okay, so if there is some-one out there reading this (even if it's only one person), I've typed this story just for you. Please, if you read this and you love it (or even if you don't)…REVIEW, D'ARVIT!!!!**

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Mercedes Kidon rolled over in her bed and stared at the opposite wall. "Hmm…Comfy bed…" She pulled the covers over her head. "Wait…" Then she bolted upright. "WHERE THE HELL AM I?!!!!" She looked left, then right. On the third or fourth round of doing this, she noticed Edward (Mr. Shorty Cutie Pie) sitting in a chair next to the window…giving her a look that said in soooo many ways how much he'd rather be somewhere else. Ed: "Uh…..you're in a hospital…" "The Cottage Hospital?" "The what?" "The hospital of my lovely island home, of course!" "Are you still delirious?" Ed asked, tipping his head to the side. Mercedes Kidon e'sploded. "I AM NOT DELIRIOUS, MR. SHORTY CUTIE PIE!!!!" "THEN DON'T ACT LIKE IT!!! AND I'M NOT SHOOOOORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mercedes Kidon snapped into an interested tone. "So, where am I?" Ed looked slightly surprised at the sudden change in mood-and in tone. "Um…you're at Central General Hospital. Do you honestly not have a clue where you are?" Silence. Then: "YEAH! KICK-ASS!! I'M IN CENTRAL, BABY!! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" "Are….you okay?" Mercedes Kidon snapped into a sad act. "I'm bipolar, DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!! h-HUH!" She sobbed. Soon enough, though, her smile returned and she began jumping on her bed, laughing with joy. Ed just watched. "Eh…are you sure you're okay?" Mercedes Kidon stopped jumping and sat on the bed with her legs dangling over the edge. She pointed at him. "Mister Fullmetal-Sexy-Alchemist, I think I am happier now than I've ever been in my ENTIRE life. Got it memorized?" Ed looked both irritated and disturbed. "Eh…yeah…I guess…" Then he sighed. Ed: "Fine, whatever. You think you're well enough to leave? You're kinda cutting into my travel expenses…" Mercedes Kidon nodded. "Yeah, I should be fine." She looked down at the hospital gown she was wearing. "But…where are my clothes?" "Over there," Said Edward, pointing at a cabinet near the door. He got up to leave. Mercedes Kidon: "WAIT!" He turned back. "Yeah, what?" He was opening the door. She gave him a remarkable imitation of Tamaki Suoh's puppy-dog look. "D-d-d-don't you want to see me strip for you?" SLAM! "I guess not…" Mercedes Kidon sighed. "…Well, that could've gone better…"

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**So, that's it for now…but the next chapter should be gut-wrenchingly hilarious! Please, again, if you enjoyed this (even in the slightest), review it! It's much appreciated!!!**

***Bows* Thank you for reading!**

**~BattyKatt**


	3. Dah cluclanking sounds

**Waaaaaagh! I'm soooooo sorry I haven't updated in….god, was it really six months ago? Sheesh….you hereby have permission to Gibbs Slap me (and shame on you if you don't get that reference). Well…here's ch. 3. Enjoy!**

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Mercedes Kidon got dressed as quickly as possible, not bothering to stop and think in full about the situation she was in. The only thing on her mind was……EDWARD!! (C'mon, I know you saw that coming). She pauses. "He's got a short temper…" She muses aloud. Then she grins. "Heehee…short…"

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Mercedes Kidon walks out into the hallway to search for her 'Shorty Cutie Pie' for the purpose of glomps and uberglomps (yes, I said uber). "Where could the adorable short one have gone?" She mutters, not paying attention to her surroundings. She turned a corner and found herself face-to-face with……

Nope.

A random mousy brown-haired woman.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" The woman screamed. "I nearly knocked you over! I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going! Please forgive me!" Mercedes Kidon backed…away…sloooowly…

"It's fine," She started nervously, holding up her hands in front of her. "I'm fine. I should reeeeally be going though. Bye!" The poor, confused girl ran off before the mousy woman could start crying. "Sheesh," She muttered when she was a reasonably safe distance away. "What the heck was that all about?" She shrugs. "Doesn't matter, I guess." Then, Mercedes Kidon walked down the hall, merrily singing: "Oh where, oh where, could the short cutie've gone? Oh where, oh where could he be?..."

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*Clu-clank* *Clu-clank* *Clu-clank*

"Brother, do you think that girl will be okay?"

"Eh…"

"Do you think we should tell the Colonel about her?"

"It's not like she's some rogue chimera or anything."

"I know, but….she doesn't…..um, she doesn't seem like she's from here, you know?"

*Knock knock*

"Can we talk about this later, Al? I don't want to add to Mustang's list of things to nag at me."

"But-"

"Let it rest."

The door opened.

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**Sorry it's so short. I was gonna write more, but I was kinda pressed for time…I have more for the next chapter already, though, so no half-year wait this time. Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated, and ideas are as well….cuz I have two pages of stuff left, and that's it…..**

**Thanks again!**

**~BattyKatt**


	4. Oh, Snap!

**Hiya! Sorry it's been so long; I've had MAJOR writers' block (and limited access to compys). But...Here ya go! Enjoy, all!**

**Disclaimation: I do not own FMA or it's characters. I don't own Mercedes, either, for she is a real person.**

Okay, so I'll give you three guesses on who was on the other side of the door (other than the Colonel)

No, it wasn't Hawkeye.

Nope, it we'ren't another of the Mustang crew.

Figured it out yet? Good….

"_Why hello, Mr. Shorty-Cutie-Pie." _

Yep, das right, 'twas Mercedes Kidon!!!!

Mercedes Kidon was sitting in a chair in front of the Colonel's desk. The Colonel, of course, was grinning like a child whose Christmas or birthday had come half a year early. Al chuckled. "Well, I guess we don't have to tell the Colonel about her after all, brother." Mustangs' ears pricked. "What, you were planning on conveniently forgetting to inform me about this lovely young lady who you kept in a _military_ hospital without telling me about it first?" He shook his head sadly. "Shame on you, Fullmetal." Mercedes Kidon leaned back in her chair and whispered to the Colonel: "Don't be so cruel to the adorable short one, Mr. Womanizer Horsey-man." The Colonel grimaced as she straitened backup in her chair. "Well, boys," he began. "Ms. Kidon has informed me of her situation…and I've come to the decision that-" "Wait, what situation?" Ed cut in. "All that happened was that we found her in some random alley, completely out of it, and brought her to the hospital to be checked out. No situation, no need for important decisions, so long, good-bye, the end."

Silence.

"Brother, that was harsh, even for you." Mustang sighed. "Ed, just hear me out, okay?" Ed grumbled something and slumped into a chair. "Well, as I was saying…" Mustang continued, then he shook his head. "No, I might as well have you tell it, Ms. Kidon. It is your story, after all." Mercedes Kidon bobbed in her seat. "I'm from another world," she stated bluntly. "No idea how I got here and no idea how to get back. Since you all are super fancy-dancy alchemists, I thought I should ask you guys for help." Ed snorted in disbelief. "If you want 'fancy-dancy alchemists', you should've gone to the Major…" He sighed. "What do you want me to do about it?" He asked, addressing the Colonel. Mustang shrugged. "I want you to let her tag along with you two for a bit. You're always travelling; always finding out new things. You're bound to find something helpful. Maybe you'll find another person like her." "Yeah, sure, while Al and I are looking for the stone, we can drag along this kid who claims to be from another world and glance down random alleyways for _more_ random weirdos to drag along. We'll make a little club and call it the 'Happy Wandering Misfits', and have tea-parties and dress-ups and all sorts of fun crap." "Jeez, Ed," Mercedes Kidon muttered. "Who took a shit in _your_ fruit-loops this morning?" "The magical flying tooth-fairy," Ed snapped back. "Maybe it's not shit in the cereal…maybe you've got your period!" "Hell no!" "WAAGH!!! Mr. Shorty Cutie-Pie is really Ms. Shorty I'm-not-a-guy!!!" "I'M NOT SHORT, DAMMIT!!!" *s-s-s-snap*! "ENOUGH!" Mustang roared. "I will NOT have this headache-inducing teenaged-drama play out in here!" He turned sharply towards Ed. "Fullmetal, you're taking her with you. That's an order," he said before Ed could protest. He muttered darkly under his breath. "What was that?" The Colonel said darkly. Ed glared at him. "I said fine, but I'm not gonna like it." He stood up quickly. "C'mon, Al, we're gonna be late for our train if we stay any longer." "'Kay." Mercedes Kidon got up to follow the brothers out the door. "Hold on," Said Mustang. He motioned for her to come to his desk. "I want you to be careful out there; you _are_ just a kid, after all." He pulled something out of a drawer and held out his hand for her to take it: 'Twas a small packet. "Take this; you might need it." "What is it?" She asked. The Colonel chuckled and leaned back slightly, lacing his fingers together. "You'll find out." "Thanks," She muttered, slipping the Mysterious Packet into her pocket. Then, she dashed out after the brothers.

Al: "Sadee?"

Mercedes Kidon: "Yes, Al?"

Al: "What are fruit-loops?"

Mercedes Kidon chuckled. "I'll tell you on the train."

_Somewhere…out in the vastness of someplace….something….or maybe some-one?...is thinking something…_

_Something cool…_

**So...this is a chappy. I hope it gives smiles to you all! I loves you, my dear readers!!!!**

**~BattyKatt**


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